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Control the chaos >w< Welcome to my little corner of the web!!!
To keep things kinda simple, I'm a Transmasc, Aroace-spec, Demiboy. I am also Demiplatonic, Demiqueerplatonic, and Demisensual. That's just keeping it simple! Trust me. I'm an adult but you don't gotta know my exsact age, that's kinda weird. I am sick all the time both mentaly and physicaly as well as being on the spectrum. I use my experiences to inhance my work as I've been through ALOT in my life.
I'm an artist, writer, music maker, and character designer! I'm working on a psychological horror game called Danger Trope. I'm into may things like Undertale, Deltarune, Honkai Star Rail, Genshin Impact, Dnaganrompa, My Little Pony, and losts of anime! Like, soooo much anime.
I absolutely HATE modern architecture now and it's for one simple (not really) reason. Because of what it did to my local (and beloved) library.
For context, they turned the old library (that's OLDER THAN ME) into an art museum. Nothing against art museums, fucking love them but the new library they built to replace it is modern architectural FAILURE at it's worst.
For starters, not only is the floor polished concrete but the whole building is OPEN PLANNED. You know what that means? Every little sound is now 5 times louder. Want to study? Too fucking bad! The study rooms are 75% glass walls! Have fun trying to cram for exams while little Timmy screams in the kids area because he's 5 and board as shit.
Not that books can't be fun, but the kids area could easily be mistaken for 2 collage hallways with bookshelves in your way. Now, I know libraries aren't supposed to be playgrounds but COME ON. The old one not only actually had fucking carpet floors but it was fairly large, had computers for kids to use, and even some Lego as well as a small area for those who brought infants. It was colorful and welcoming but now we got book hallway and the echo of the child crying!
And that wasn't the ONLY thing they took form us. Libraries aren't just for book, it has many more uses from computers and wifi to even renting movies all for free! That they still had but the old library had a teens area, which I spent most of my after schools during my teen years. The teen room had a 3D printer, sound booth, and VR along with the computers and manga section. Fun for teens both alone and with friends not to mention FREE. But all that remains is the 3D printer. Guess they couldn't fit the rest in a building that's on fucking stilts, huh?
Oh, the stilts? Yeah- the library itself is several stories up on two big ass concrete cylinders for what reason? WHO FUCKING KNOWS! You can't even drive under it??? There's literally nothing under it. No benches or anything. Only a bookstore that's in one of the pillars. Which is cool and all but what's the point if you weren't going to use the space under it??? Not to mention the elevator to even get to the library is OUTSIDE and they have some poor worker standing out there in the Cali heat keeping an eye on it because apparently they don't want the homeless people to get in??? It's fucking ridiculous. Did they go through all that effort to build their stupid BOOK HOSPITAL on its stupid fucking stilts just so they can keep out homeless people and piss me off? Who approved these plans? I'm going to fucking fight them.
It may be the nostalgia talking but the old library really was a great place. 2 stories and a basement of books. Arts n' craft events, board game days, video game days, movie days!!! All for free and in a small auditorium that even had a GRAND PIANO. I remember going to that library during the summer because they gave out FREE LUNCH to children.
I made so many memories there. Me and my friends.. my mom even went to that library as a teen. I took for granted it's existence as a kid, never truly knowing it's wonders. In middle/high school, I finally understood it's and many other library's value. How many doors it opened up, letting kids like me experience things we usually couldn't. It's game night was one of the few times I touched a Wii in my LIFE. There were hard times as a child where I didn't realize the financial troubles we were having because the library could in some way, provide.
I may have sucked at reading and still very much do... but I'll always love libraries. Even now I can't stop myself from crying thinking about their wonders. And I will NEVER forgive what moder architecture did to my beloved second home.
I love you library...and I miss you...
This reminds me of how it feels to be chased by something in dreams. No matter how fast you go, they're catching up to you. No matter where you are, they're right behind you. You can clip through the floor and it'll still be after you. To the center of the earth it follows. Even up into space, beyond the stars... further and further it finds me. I can't lose it. No matter how hard I try, how strong I am, or how hard I fight- he caches up to me. Even if I escape by waking up there's that chance... that small chance that when I close my eyes and return to my slumber, I'll be right back where I was and he'll be closer. And he knows my limits...
Pet's name: Aqua
Durarara changed my view on life and it should change yours too.
I got into Durarara in around HS and have been passively interacting with the community for over a decade. I was going through alot of shit when I originally watched the anime and in more recent years, I realized it's changed me.
I live close to my downtown area with plenty of tall business and law buildings. It's not exactly the same as Ikebukuro but the busy city vibes are still the same to me. In a world where just hanging out has become a crime through 'loitering' and places of enjoyment are not only pay to enter, but more expensive, I'm glad I find enjoyment walking around my downtown area.
Not only do I have many memories there, but the connection with Durarara that it has for me has made me see things in a new light. There are so SO many things going on. People whose stories I'll never know. They're all protagonists of their own lives and for the moment that I'm sitting at my favorite pizza place or wandering the justice district, we're sharing a stage.
There are people who I see regularly. My memory may be poor but theirs isn't. I'm a regular in their lives. There's a place with some pretty good gyoza I go to regularly and when a specific person is working there, she'll recognize me and immediately go to the counter. I've left little drawings at other spots I visit and seen them up for months. Me and my friends have inside jokes with staff at some places. Note that not only am I perceived as 'intimidating' by some but I struggle with social settings and yet... these connections have been made.
Who am I to the office workers in their buildings? A place I can't enter nor see into. Do they recognize me too? Do the employees at the antique store refer to me as 'the sword guy' or something? I'll never fully know their lives. They'll never fully know mine either.
It's the little things. I re-watch at least the first season of Durarara once or twice a year. It's really made me appreciate the little things when I'm out in my familiar little area. I'll probably never live an exciting life like the characters but is that really bad? They share plenty of calm moments. Not everything is a fight. Not everything is high stakes. Sometimes you're just getting ice cream. Sometimes someone's being an ass.
My town has its own stories, scandals, and legends. Hell- I LIVED through one. It was chaos. There were crowds and fights and years of all sorts of drama. Now that it's over, I run into people who were apart of it too and despite us never have interacted then, we share stories now.
Durarara changed my view on the world for the better. It's my favorite anime and I try to get people into it too. It's, unfortunately, not for everyone but I love the complexity. I love how things are connected. Maybe if you're in a rough spot, you can let it change you too.
